Big AFF - Heavenly Birthdays, Ugh

Yesterday this big, sweet guy should have been 65. I know the common phrase is "would have been," but my heart and brain agree, he should have been. Lord, I miss this man with every fiber of my being. 65, the big birthday you plan for your whole life. He should have been here.

My sister, (we call her Beans :)) coined the phrase AFF. Another F@*cking First. You fill in the blanks. These last 11 months have been filled with AFFs. The first weekend, the first holiday, the first anniversary, the first time doing absolutely anything without my other half. This birthday was a big AFF. My heart is aching to give him his birthday kiss and bake his birthday cake.

Instead, I was blessed with a get-together with some of my very dearest friends. It did not replace the fact that he should have been here, but just being with them lifted me up. Lots of laughter and planning for our next lake trip. I am blessed beyond measure to be surrounded by so many dear friends and family. They carry me through every AFF.

As always, thank you for reading my ramblings.