Moonglow

The calm gulf waters in Perdido Key

I've just returned from a week in Perdido Key, FL, with both my daughters and their men, all seven grandkids, and my sister and her husband. It was truly an epic vacation! We did all the things and soaked up the Florida sun.

But that moon...it pulled me in and took me to another place and time. A time when I was still a 'we', and I had my Tall Man by my side, holding my hand, carrying my beach chair, loving me.

I never know when it's going to hit. When that hole in my heart that has somehow begun to heal is going to crack open again. And I never know how long it will take to begin to scar again, closing the crack and allowing me to laugh again, and mean it.

Are there Oscars for widows? I know I'd be in the running. Recently, several of my friends have experienced loss; two lost mothers, one lost her husband. There are women in my writing group who have lost husbands and siblings. It is the season in which we are living.

My heart hurts for every one of them, and for anyone who knows the bitterness of loss. The plans that will never come to be, the conversations that will never happen, the curiosity of what might have been. What I do know is that I am not alone, and neither are they. I write this from my soul in hopes that whoever needs to see it does, and can feel the solidarity.

Interestingly, I'm not really down the rabbit hole, just hovering. Time for a visit with Gintonica.

As always, thank you for reading my schmush. Love and hugs to all.